I don’t even know where to begin. It all seems so surreal. A few weeks ago it seemed like it was just some strange, new type of flu that would eventually just go away but it didn’t. Many of us today are in isolation or in quarantine because of it. We’ve closed up shops. There are no more sports to be played. The parks are closed and the zoos have shut their doors. We can’t go to the movie theaters to check out the latest flick and we can’t go to the bars and share good times with friends and enjoy some drinks. We’re “stuck” at home. We’re “stuck” with our families.
I went to BJ’s yesterday to pick up some groceries. I just needed to pick up a few things I was low on. You know, things like eggs, milk, my precious avocados and the oh so valued toilet paper. It was the loneliest, saddest experience I’ve ever had. While I don’t usually make it a point to socialize, hug and share my personal business with strangers, it was sad to see and know that I didn’t even have that option. People were shopping with surgical gloves and masks on their faces. They were keeping their distance. They were making every possible effort to stay at least 6 feet away from the next stranger in the store. There were little smiles, less conversation and so much tension. Everyone was looking out for their own. I guess there’s nothing wrong with that as we’re all in survival mode now but it’s sad. Social distancing is sad and lonely.
I’ve been “stuck” at home…working remotely. As a working, single mom, I’ve learned that I need to improve on patience. I’ve learned that I don’t know how to spend time with family. I’ve learned that I don’t know how to stop working, how to appreciate, and how to dedicate completely my time to my son. I’ve spent the week hustling, looking for alternatives to making money should I suddenly get laid off. I’ve spent the time yelling at my son telling him to leave me alone so I could work. I’ve spent the time worried, full of anxiety and worried about tomorrow instead of embracing the gift of today.
I live in Florida. The weather has been beautiful despite the circumstances. My son has been begging me all week to join him in the pool. I finally gave in today and joined him. I put my computer down, said “fuck it” to anything related to work or money and I joined him. I got in that big ugly green pool and joined him. I let go of my worries and embraced the moment. We played catch in the cold-ass water, he “taught” me how to swim (he thinks), we laughed and enjoyed the moment together. It’s something we haven’t done in a long time or probably ever done but he was happy. Guess what? He was smiling big because his mama was with him. And I could tell that for a few hours today, he was the happiest boy in the world.
I hope you’re taking FULL advantage of this time. I hope you’re laughing. I hope you’re smiling. I hope you’re hugging the ones you love most at home. I hope that you’re safe and healthy and well. And like that song says, “I hope you dance”.
I love you all. Stay safe and stay active. 🙂